Over the past ten years I’ve been exposed to a lot of great information. “The Social Animal” by David Brooks has quickly moved its way into my top three favorite books and I’m only half way through it.
Askers and Guessers
“The writer Andrea Doneri argues that the world is divided between Askers and Guessers. Askers feel no shame when making requests and are willing to be told no without being hurt. They’ll invite themselves over as a guest for a week. They’ll ask for money, to borrow the car, a boat, or a girlfriend. They have no compunction about asking and do not take offense when they are refused.
Guessers hate asking for favors and feel guilty when saying no to other people’s request. In Guess culture you avoid putting a request into words unless you’re sure the answer will be yes. In Guess culture you never say no to someone else directly. You make excuses. Every request, made or received, is fraught with emotional and social peril.”
Which are you?
For a lot of my life I was a Guesser. In a hyper-sensitive world, I thought being a really good guy, trying to please everyone, and not offend anyone was the key to success. I needed people to like me.
I had to become an Asker!
People that get things done and impact the world are Askers. They approach the world with confidence, assertiveness, and fearlessness. They aren’t afraid to pursue their passions and go after what they want.
The world needs more Askers!
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