Your ability to effectively lead yourself and inspire others comes down to the never-ending battle that occurs in all of us:
Confidence vs. Insecurity
Merriam-Webster.com defines each as:
Confidence: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
Insecurity: deficient in assurance: beset by fear and anxiety
A theory that I personally use to organize my world is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In a nutshell this theory says that insecurity prevents us from developing:
- Healthy love and relationships with others
- Self-esteem needed to strive for greater accomplishment
- Ability to discover our purpose or as Maslow says “Self-Actualization”
Without even realizing it, insecurity drives us to act in ways and make choices that we would not make if we were secure with ourselves and the world around us. It paralyzes us from being the person we truly want to be and living the life we deserve to live.
It holds you hostage!
Insecurity does serve a purpose however. It’s a survival and protection mechanism that gives us a sense of relief and control when we feel, as Merriam-Webster.com says “fear and anxiety”. This relief and control may not be productive in the grand scheme of things, but for now it works. We become comfortable, but never really become secure. The scary part is some people live in a constant cycle of “fear and anxiety” and don’t even know it.
The questions you must ask yourself are:
Do you want your life defined by choices based on “fear and anxiety”?
Do you want your live to be defined by choices based on security and the genuine belief that you are acting in the “right, proper, or most effective way” to reach your goals?
The foundation of our security and confidence is something that was built within us at a very young age and was largely dependant on our environment and the relationships with the adults in our lives. If the adults in our lives didn’t understand this battle (and most didn’t) it never got addressed. We were just expected to be confident, do our work, and be successful.
Regardless of past experience and what you think you are right now you must understand this:
Confidence is a key characteristic of success and fulfillment!
Confident people think more productive. They feel better about themselves and the world around them. They don’t get consumed by worry and fear. They progress even in adverse situations. They aren’t held back by people or things. They are purposeful in their actions.
In the battle between insecurity vs. confidence, confidence must win!
Study confidence, practice confidence, and be confident!
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